Like most natural diasters, public events, and tragedies, the events of Waco spawned numerous jokes and puns. Here is a sample I have collected from the net.
What is on the menu at the Waco compound for tonight?
Barbequed Lamb of God.
What was the last thing heard from the Waco compound?
No you asshole, I wanted a bud-lite!
Why did the FBI stop firetrucks from puting out the fire?
They like their meat well-cooked.
Did you hear that they evacuated all the Branch dividians in a single
school
bus?
Yeah, 20 in the seats, and the other 74 in the ashtray.
BAKED DRAVIDIANS
Ingredients:
115 Over-religious Zealots
2 Over-zealous government agencies
1 Unsuspecting media
10000 Rounds of ammunition
25 Tanks
50 Gallons of gasoline
Mix the Zealots with the ammunition over a period of time. When they
rise up over the edge of the bowl for the second time, slaughter about
10% of them with automatic weapons fire, then quickly seal them in a
Dutch Oven and play Andy Williams music to them. Take care not to let
your guests, the media, actually see the dish until it is prepared:
otherwise, the entire dish will be ruined for you and them. Also,
make sure to save any Zealots that might prematurely pop out of the
oven: you may need them later to convince your guests as to your
skills as a chef.
Let stand for about 50 days, and, after you are certain they have lost
their minds, knead them quickly with armored vehicles. Douse them
with the fuel, light, and serve immediately. With the proper
intimidation, the media should find the dish quite tasty.
What Does WACO stand for?
1. We Ain't Comin' Out
2. We All Cremated Ourselves
3. When Attacked, CookOut!
4. We are cooking Out
What kind of pants do Branch Davidian's wear?
Charred-Ash Jeans
What do David KorASH and Burger King Whopper have in common?
They are both flame broiled.
What is KorASH wearing right now?
His best Sunday soot.
David KorASH theme songs:
I'm Burning Up
Great Balls of Fire
Eternal Flame
Last of the Red Hot Lovers
Hot in the City
You Light Up My Life
Blaze of Glory
Disco Inferno
Burning down the House
His favorite Musician: Charo
Top of the best sellers list is:
20 indoor barbecuing Do's and Don'ts by David Koresh!
What were David Koresh's last words?
a1. "Is it hot in here or is just me?"
a2. do you smell something burning? - ME
What were the FBI's last words?
Did anybody bring any marshmellows?
What was David Koresh's favourite: game? - follow the leader
song? - When smoke gets in your eyes
movie? - Towering Inferno
food? - anything that is HOT or BURNT
There is a HOT subject
The FBI stated that Koresh promised that there would be no mass
suicide. Well, all I have to say to David is:
"Liar, liar, pants on fire, and your shirt, and your hair...."
Know what David Koresh's last words to his followers were?
Come on you guys, lighten up!
Did you hear about the new KFC opening up in WacoIts called Koresh's
Fried Christians!
Short Books:
The Branch Davidian guide to putting out fires
The FBI/BATF guide to successful negotiations with religious cults and
fanatics
The original WACO acronym list (other than We Ain't Comin' Out)
Waco McDonalds are now serving McCultist Burgers.
What's the difference between boy scouts in the rest of the USA and
Branch Davidian boy scouts?
Branch Davidian boy scouts are allowed to be flamers.
Why did the Davidians commit mass suicide?
They were trying to keep up with the Joneses.
What do you call a gay Branch Davidian?
A flaming faggot!
Did you hear about the new Davidian Branch holy day?
Ash Monday
What do you call a Branch Davidian with a fire extinguisher?
A heretic.
What do you call a Scientologist with a flamethrower?
A copycat.
Why did the compound in Waco burn to the ground?
They couldn't put out the fire with their Kool Aid. (tm)
Why don't we have more prophets like David Koresh?
It's such a high stress job that burnout is almost inevitable.
The Branch Davidian Church has split into two sects:
Orthodox and Extra-Crispy.
What was the most popular name for Branch Davidian children?
Ashley.
How is Waco like a Snickers bar?
Roasted nuts.
What do you get when you cross David Koresh & Jeffrey Dahmer?
Brunch Davidian (barbeque naturally).
Why is Al Gore so upset with the Branch Davidians?
He got fired.
Did you hear about the tragedy at Waco?
Evidently an NBC News crew was trying to move in for a close-up...
Did you know that Ranch Apocalypse had an Internet connection?
Yes, and Koresh's last news post started: "Feel free to flame me, but..."
I was just wondering, is it ethical to yell ``Branch Davidian'' in a
crowded movie theatre?